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Dejuiced! Sports News with No Boundaries

Stifler Advances to the U.S Open Final

by The Fan's Attic on September 9th, 2006

andy roddick.jpgAndy Roddick advanced to the U.S. Open Men’s Final today, defeating Mikhail Youzhny of Russia, 6-7, 6-0, 7-6, 6-3, and continued his re-emergence in the tennis world.  Roddick will face Roger Federerererer, he of the cream Wimbledon jacket fame, who has treated Roddick like a red-headed step-child in the past.  Basically, he spanks him. 

Maria Sharapova, who is rumored to be dirty dancing with Roddick, faces Justine Henin-Hardenne in the Women’s Final tonight.  So, if she loses does Roddick have emotional support sex? Or, if she wins does he have celebratory sex?  Or, does he abstain and use sex as a motivational device to defeat Federer?  That is not a bad dilemma to have, if you ask me.

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