College Football’s UponUs-icity Continues to Thrive
Dude, Thursday! That’s two days away! I don’t believe you are quite ready for some football. I mean, have you stocked up on the non-toxic paint. It better be the kind that washes off with soap and water. Make sure the keg is ordered, you can’t have any sort of beer-related shortages come tailgate time. Because Thursday it all begins. Oversized men of ridiculous proportions will no longer face ridicule when removing their shirts. They will be praised. “You sir, are a perfect O. I would like to include you in my groups planned spelling of our local University’s name.” You see, these are the men who are reluctant to go to the beach or the local pool. (Or at least they should be.) In Summer, they are pariahs. But then Autumn, glorious Autumn returns. And how wonderfully Autumn treats these rotund fanatics. Their natural insulation keeps them comfortable while their more slender counterparts shiver in heavy jackets. This adaptation allows those heavyset supporters to only wear a thin coat of paint and sometimes a silly hat. Sometimes not a hat. The hat doesn’t really matter. Anyways, my half-assed preview of all things college football takes its next stop in Big 12 country, home of the Big 12. As always, theres more, and that more exists after the jump…
Hey, you made the jump. Good for you. The Big-12 exists almost solely in the odd world of Texas and Oklahoma, a land where Varsity Blues isn’t really an exaggeration. Half of the conference’s team hail from those two states. Football matters there, and thusly, so does the Big 12. Some of those who care so fervently for football are very powerful men, we call these men boosters. Boosters can have quite the impact, both positive and negative. We not look further than that panhandled former Indian territory to see both extremes. At Oklahoma St, they have rapidly improving facilities. These new recruit-conducive buildings were funded essentially by one old, rich man, T. Boone Pickens. He gave his alma mater $165 million earmarked for only the athletic department. Ok St. is generally the whipping boy to their in-state brethern at Oklahoma, but boosterdom crippled that program this year. Rhett Bomar, their highly touted quarterback, was dismissed following the revelation of his no-work job at a local auto dealer. He is now at Sam Houston St, which is not in the Big 12. Not being in the Big 12, it will be very difficult for them to win it. What makes it more difficult, Texas is in the Big 12.
Best Team: Texas lost their oddly throwing superman, but they consistently have the some of the best recruiting classes in the nation. They can get along without a stud receiving the snap because they’re talented enough elsewhere. None of the other teams are ready to step up either, especially with Oklahoma now quarterbackless.
Worst Team: Poor Baylor. Poor, poor Baylor.
Best player: Adrian Peterson. He won’t have a passing game to protect him, but I can’t really hold that against him. His stats may not be as spectacular as they would have been with Bomar behind center, but as long as he stays healthy, he’ll be in the Heisman race.
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1 opinion for College Football’s UponUs-icity Continues to Thrive
big jim
Aug 30, 2006 at 10:07 pm
I am an ideal “O” but have not yet been contacted by my local institution of higher learning. If you need me, I will be sitting at the end of the bar at your local watering hole. With my physique, I will be easy to approach because there will NOT be a cluster of the fairer sex.
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