This Weekend in Pigskinnery: Kneel Before Juice
- Fresh off of last week’s Adrian Peterson love-fest, comes this week’s Juice Williams love-fest. Fawn away my friends, he earned your accolades. He was a man on Saturday, especially in that final drive. Scheduled for next week, the inevitable depressing Juice Williams knee injury.
- The Saints apparently suck again. They are in official do-not-bet-on territory.
- It is entirely within the realm of possibility that no one will watch tonight’s Monday Night Football game.
- Rex Grossman made his triumphant return. The Bears should just run all verts, all the time. It’s not like they’re running the ball particularly well. Grossman will either throw an interception or a touchdown. It’s as good as punting. Really, it’s probably their best option.
- Kansas looks for real. They also look like the New York Giants. I’m pretty sure that’s not a good sign.
- The Lions rushed for -18 yards against the Cardinals. Just as Mike Martz planned.
- My friends in East Lansing called to brag about Michigan’s loss to Wisconsin. Perhaps they are Michigan’s little brother. In that case, here are my three pieces of advice. (Cha!) First, never get chili from Taco Bell under any circumstances. Second, if a girl’s hot, it doesn’t really matter if she has dragon tattoos or not. Thirdly, if you lost to a team the previous week, it doesn’t really make sense to mock that team for losing the next week. It just serves to remind people that your team lost the previous week.
- Everything is coming up Packers. Brett Favre threw a ball that should have been intercepted by one of two Viking defenders and ended up being an easy touchdown catch.
- Peyton Manning looked like Eli Manning on Sunday. Eli Manning looked also like Eli Manning.
- It was nice to see Peyton pouting on the sideline about Dungy’s timeout and Vinatieri’s missed field goal. To be fair, he only had five interceptions at that point, not the six he finished with. And one of Cromartie’s interceptions required a freakish amount of athleticism. So really, he only threw four interceptions. So, in a way, it was everyone’s fault but Peyton’s.
- Poor Rose Bowl, it’s going to get stuck with Oregon absolutely destroying either Ohio St. or Michigan. They could probably destroy Ohio St. and Michigan. Either way, I don’t think a lot of neutral parties will be tuning in.
- Unfortunately for the Giants, it seems very likely that the Cowboys will be in the playoffs.
- Notre Dame lost to Air Force. The penalty for losing to Air Force and Navy in the same year should probably involve the selective services in some way.
- The Wyoming coach flipped off the Utah coaching staff after they attempted an on-side kick while ahead by 43. That wasn’t appropriate. The on-side kick while ahead by 43 is the football equivalent of the double-bird. Utah earned another finger, and the Wyoming coach just didn’t flick enough.
- Ben Roethlisberger had a 30-yard touchdown run, which was as improbable as it was completely awesome, as big-guys-running-long distances-for-touchdowns always is.
- Mississippi State is bowl eligible. I really thought that Sylvester Croom had an impossible job in the SEC, but he did it. And I’m genuinely happy for him. Congrats, Sly.
- The Ravens scored 7 points against the Bengals. Against an actual defense, that’s the equivalent of -4 points.
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