The Mitchell Report Proves that Congress is Unnecessarily Wordy
Here’s the whole thing. All 409 pages of it. Four-freaking-hundred and nine. Is that really necessary? I mean, we could have just done with a list. It could have said these guys were stupid enough to have steroids delivered to their house or pay with checks.
Television has ruined my attention span. There is no way I can read that whole thing without going crazy. I need my sports information presented to my by a black man and an old Jewish man in 30 second intervals. Sorry Mitchell Report.
Anyways, here’s the notable (and in no way surprising) names from the report.
Roger Clemens - A power pitcher with a bit of an anger problem who performs suspiciously well in the latter stages of his career.
Andy Pettite - Peer-pressure is a very powerful tool. Especially if the peer pressuring you is some roid-ragin Texan.
Gary Sheffield - But only because it makes it more difficult for MLB to control him.
Barry Bonds - Someone get Pedro Gomez!
Miguel Tejada - B-12 shots.
Eric Gagne - But still refuses to get Lasik.
Chuck Knoblauch - Mad him so strong he threw the ball much farther than he used to, which presented a problem.
David Justice - He needed it considering he never missed the playoffs, he was just getting tired.
Jason Giambi - So that’s what that “stuff” was.
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POSTED IN: Law & Order, MLB
1 opinion for The Mitchell Report Proves that Congress is Unnecessarily Wordy
Kente' E. Bates
Aug 30, 2008 at 8:33 am
this is the typa thing that makes me believe that America is hurtling headfirst into Socialism, if not pure Communism- why the hell did this crap happen? Did we need to know about the extracurricular activities of MLB playas? Or what they shoot into their bodies? Congress really showed me what they think of the American people when they pulled this stunt- they think that they can just do as they please, and we just have to keep swallowing their crap with our eyes closed. Who in the blue hell do these people think they are? While wars rage around the globe, people dying needlessly, what does Con-gress do? Hold BS hearings and crucify BASEBALL PLAYERS for taking steroids? Are ya serious, Con-gress? Your job is to govern the US of A, not to draw up some arbitrary guidelines for a sport that is willfully mismanaged. This sucks to the fullest. We got kids in America dying as young as they do in the Third World, everything costing more, and let’s not forget the worst foreign attack on our shores ever, and what does Con-gress do? Hold silly hearings on BASEBALL…. Am I in the Twilight Zone or something here? Is this what a governing body of the PEOPLE are supposed to be doing? Why on God’s green Earth do we have such idiots and fools running the show? Did we need that Mitchell Report bullcrap? Hell no. It should be an insult to anyone who follows both politics and sports- just shows how messed up it really is. Making up rules asya go along to satisfy some oldsters with $$$$ really sucks- not to mention some ‘journalists’ with a God complex… Pedro Gomez isn’t a reporter- he is a suppository! He was so far up Bonds’ butt, I thought he was Correctol, not a sportswriter… These idiots in Con-gress (note the Con?) wasted a lot of $$$, as well as tv time over nonsense. Whoever was really pulling the strings on this, should know that there is a special place in Hell for them. We should be submitting these scalawags in Con-gress to hearings on their lawmaking records, as well as their extracurricular activites- we should bring up how and what these jackasses in the ‘drive-by sports media’ do in their spare time to see how they like being scrutinized and called out over nothing. These jackasses ruin peoples’ lives and they get a free pass! They should be excoriated to the utmost!
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