Actual Meaning Translator: Retard Edition
Brett Myers is in trouble, but considering he didn’t hit his wife this time it’s less trouble than usual. In case you missed the back story, Myers gave up two ninth inning home runs while blowing a save against the Mets on Saturday. In the ensuing press conference, he referred the the homers as pop-ups. A reporter asked if he really thought they were pop-ups, Myers called the reporter retarded. Now they’re not going to each other’s sweet sixteens.
Yesterday, Myers apologized:
“I shouldn’t have said that,” Myers said before Philadelphia played the New York Mets on Monday night. “I didn’t mean to offend anybody.”
Well, good to see he apologized, but for what? We’ll need to dig deeper, with the Actual Meaning Translator (Patent Pending.)
…translating…

…translating..
I apologize to any baseball fans I offended by using that word. I shouldn’t have said pop-ups. I got jacked, plain and simple. Also, I shouldn’t have said retard. Also, did I ever apologize for punching my wife, because I should probably apologize for that too. Goodness, I’m a jerk. And can you believe my eyebrows.
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POSTED IN: MLB
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