There’s something uniquely mesmerizing about this photo. Maybe it’s the look on the guy’s face after he completely missed the ball and it hit him in the nuts — something about that look says, “Good thing I only need one.” Or maybe it’s the reaction of all the fans around the guy — […]
Pedro returns, gets 3,000th career strikeout, Mets win. These career numbers are so big and unwieldy. I really don’t know what to do with them.
Roger Clemens leaves game with elbow soreness, loss to Mariners. The Yankees are running out of young, exciting pitchers to replace their old and busted rotation.
Carlos Zambrano only lasts 4 1/3, […]
Yankees lose 16-0. Mike Mussina didn’t pitch particularly well.
Indians win, turn triple-play. A triple-freaking-play!
Chase Utley returns to M-V-P chants, RBI. Chase Utley is like the anti-Pat Burrell.
The Astros fire the people running the Astros. Because the Astros suck.
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Tigers 5, Yankees 4 - Bobby Seay gets his first win in six years as the Tigers bullpen throws almost 8 innings in relief after Jair Jurrjens injurrjed jimself.
Red Sox 11, White Sox 1 - The Red Sox outscored their bleached counterparts 46-7 over the four-game sweep. This is mainly attributed to the fact that […]
Trent Green wins Dolphins starting job, shot at debilitating concussions. Cleo Lemon continues to be a fantastically named backup.
ESPN runs stock headline: Bears take control in 2nd half, overcome Grossman mistakes in win.
Raiders trade draft pick to Broncos for Gerard Warren. Because it’s not like the Raiders need draft picks.
A-Rod hits 40th homerun, but Yankees […]
Casino rejects suspicious tennis bets. Suspicious, because there were bets on tennis.
Browns tackle Ryan Tucker suspended for violating NFL steroid policy. Somehow, an NFL offensive lineman testing positive just doesn’t have the sex appeal of Barry Bonds allegations.
Holyfield to get heavyweight title shot in Moscow. No one would ever let Holyfield fight again in America, […]
Mets bullpen blows lead and Tom Glavine’s 300th win. The previous sentence could be just three words long and still be right.
Yanks hit eight home runs in win over White Sox. They may still be seven games back from the Red Sox, and won’t likely catch them, but they’re closing in on the Wild Card.
Celtics, […]
Yankees trade Scott Proctor to Dodgers for Wilson Betemit. This trade is much less intriguing than the ones from yesterday.
Cardinals trade cash and minor leaguers for Joel Piniero. This trade is much less intriguing than the one mentioned before.
Phillies acquire Kyle Lohse from Cincinnati. Goodness, these trades suck, good thing Cole Hamels kicked some ass […]
Tony Gwynn and Cal Ripken Jr. inducted into Hall of Fame. And two whiter people there have never been.
Giants lose last game of home stand, Bonds fails to homer. Record tying homer will likely not be hit in presence inexplicably staunch Bonds fans.
Iraq wins Asian Cup. Celebratory gunfire ensues.
The Tour de France is over. Some […]
Donaghy’s bookie was hist high school classmate. I’m almost positive this was an episode of the Sopranos.
Phillies lose to Nationals, Utley injures hand. Boy, sometimes you have to wonder what makes Philly fans so angry all the time.
Kansas City shuts out the Yankees. The Yankees have a more expensive team, but even then they lost […]
Fausto Carmano pitches 8 shut out innings in win. Someone made a deal with someone else.
Curtis Martin retires. Another one of those retirements that are so unsurprising you already thought that it happened.
A-Rod his 499th home-run in win over Royals. He’s now the 22nd member of the 499-HR club.
NASCARer Biffle of Vick: “I just wish […]
Jon Lester beats Indians. Has now won two straight, though his off-season win may have been more significant.
Embattled NBA ref Donaghy receiving threatening phone calls. They’re either from the mob or NBA fans, neither of which officially exist.
Barry Bonds doesn’t homer. Giants don’t win. Whatever.
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Padraig Harrington wins British Open in playoff. Why the hell do they call those things burns? I hope it’s not just for the unfortunate “Barry Burn’d” puns.
Yankees beat Devil Rays 21-4. Will only get credit for one win though, apparently.
Bryant hits game winner in intra-squad scrimmage. Clutch, my friend, is relative.
Nets sign Lawrence Frank to […]
Indians sign Travis Hafner to $57 million deal.
Bobcats sign Gerald Wallace to $57 million deal.
Pistons sign Chauncey Billups to $57 million deal…plus $3 million more.
57!
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Pujols upset at La Russa about riding the bench in All-Star game. Goodness gracious, I hope this thing snowballs.
Selig unsure if he’ll attend Bonds record-setting game. Bud Selig has managed to make Barry Bonds look sympathetic.
Ichiro wins MVP. And a new car!
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Penguins sign Sidney Crosby to $45 million extension. Includes provision for when they won’t be able to pay it.
Greg Oden to get tonsils removed. And all the ice cream he can eat!
Baseball agent jailed for smuggling Cubans. Are we talking about players or cigars?
Guerrero wins Home Run Derby. Someone cares, I’m sure.
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Robbie McEwen wins stage 1 of Tour de France. Stage 1 of the Tour de France is in England.
Federer wins 5th straight Wimbledon. Wimbledon is also in England.
World Team wins Futures game. The Futures game actually took place in the present, which is now the past. That just blew your fucking mind, didn’t it.
Tigers sweep […]
A humorous sports blog with the latest sports news with no boundaries.
Written by Alejandro de los Rios [email], and Cherie Lampley for b5media.
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