Archive for the ‘NFL’ Category
April 26th, 2008
At around 3 this afternoon, Jake Long’s name will be called as the first pick in the NFL Draft. His already negotiated contract makes him the highest paid tackle before he even plays a down. And one time he helped load drywall into my Dodge Intrepid.
My roommate Joe and I were at Fingerle lumber, an […]
By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments
April 10th, 2008
Earlier today, it was reported that the Dolphins were talking to both Jake Long and Vernon Gholston. Miami has since denied that they were talking to Gholston. Miami still might talk with Gholston, along with Chris Long and Glenn Dorsey. As of right now, though, they are only officially negotiation with Long. The choice between […]
By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments
April 10th, 2008
Usually, I use the Actual Meaning Translator to find out what athletes really mean. Today, things will be done a little differently. Instead of finding out what Brett Favre meant in his recent quotes, we’ll find out what the Green Bay Packers fans heard.
“It would be hard to pass up, I guess,” he told the […]
By Albert Bianchi -- 1 comment
April 7th, 2008
Ok, so, this disgraced ex-NFL quarterback gets sent to jail. But get this, in jail, he still plays football. But not with pro football players, but convicted criminals! I either picture it as a gritty, dark comedy or a slapstick-filled abomination. And we can even do that based on a true story thing at the […]
By Albert Bianchi -- 1 comment
March 27th, 2008
Because anything can be related to something from the Simpsons, immediately upon hearing that the NFL was considering banning long hair, I thought of how that would probably please Grandpa Simpson. “Look at them sideburns! He looks like a girl. Now, Johnny Unitas — there’s a haircut you could set your watch to.” The rule […]
By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments
March 18th, 2008
Poor Jon Kitna. Last year, he became the man who “guaranteed” that the Lions would win 10 games. He was consistently mocked, with ESPN tracking the Lions progress against his prediction, then ultimately celebrating when — as they expected — the Lions fell short. He’s at it again. Here’s what he actually said:
We will be […]
By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments
March 5th, 2008
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I guess it’s a neat coincidence that Brett Favre and Warren Sapp officially retired on the same day. (Sapp made clear his intent to retire immediately after the season.) Back when Warren Sapp mattered, was on the Tampa Bay Bucs and the NFC Central still […]
By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments
March 4th, 2008
Oh, him, he’s retiring.
In the year where there didn’t seem to be any speculation on whether Brett Favre would retire or not, Brett Favre retired. Expect no middle ground on the reactions to this news. There will either be fawning over Favre, or hating over fawning over Favre. In my own zen-way, I plan to […]
By Albert Bianchi -- 2 comments
March 3rd, 2008
Asking for a raise was never this interesting. (Ok, except on the Office.)
- The Steelers lock up Ben Roethlisberger for 8 years, $102 million extension. Now only the Pittsburgh equipment manager will ever have to deal with his unwieldy last name.
- The Atlanta Falcons release Warrick Dunn after signing Michael Turner. This should fix everything. […]
By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments
February 21st, 2008
There is a good chance that Tony Romo is the most talented musician in this picture.
Because today is all about presenting insinuation as news, Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo are getting married! Or at least their friends think that they’re good together. Really, isn’t that the same thing?
“I think they’re going to get married,” Romo’s […]
By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments
February 20th, 2008
Tom Coughlin will be rewarded for coaching the New York Giants to a Super Bowl victory with a four-year contract extension. This is hardly newsworthy, sometimes I just like to reaffirm that the New York Giants did indeed win the Super Bowl.
Coughlin will be given a new long-term contract with a substantial raise, and it […]
By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments
February 19th, 2008
Yes! Can you believe it? Even more quotes about baseball and steroids that don’t just seem to be exactly clued in. This one is from extreme peripheral figure Hank Steinbrenner. Hank thinks baseball is unfairly being made the focus of performance-enhancing drugs in sports.
“I don’t like baseball being singled out,” the New York Yankees […]
By Albert Bianchi -- 5 comments
February 10th, 2008
Well, actually not even technically. It’s the Pro Bowl, the least entertaining and most worthless of all the All-Star games. In the NBA and NHL events, defense becomes more of a theory and less of a practice, so it’s more of a high-flying spectacle. The Pro Bowl features simple, water-downed offenses. For MLB, it decides […]
By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments
February 4th, 2008
Now that I — to an extent — have gotten over the extreme elation and utter disbelief that led me to title my last two posts “Holy Crap,” I can begin to put the New York Giants Super Bowl victory into some sort of perspective. Firstly, I think the win certainly must have been […]
By Albert Bianchi -- 2 comments
February 4th, 2008
Tags: David Tyree, Eli Manning, New England Patriots, New York Giants, Super BowlShare This
By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments
February 4th, 2008
Eli Manning to David Tyree: I’m not sure how that happened, but I’m pretty happy that it did.
Photo: ( Andy Lyons/Getty Images)
Tags: David Tyree, Eli Manning, New England Patriots, New York Giants, Super BowlShare This
By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments
February 1st, 2008
The United States Congress has nearly run out of people to interview for this whole baseball and steroids issue. (Chuck Knoblauch? Sure, why not?) So, of course, they’re moving on to football. And just like with steroids, they’re a little bit behind.
Pennsylvania Sen. Arlen Specter, the ranking Republican on the Senate Judiciary Committee, wants NFL Commissioner […]
By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments
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