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Dejuiced! Sports News with No Boundaries

Archive for January 2008

January 31st, 2008

Shiny, Unhappy People

The good news, West Virginia, is that Michigan is in no way interested in Bob Huggins. He’s all yours!
Photo Credit (AP Photo/Jeff Gentner) via The Sporting News
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By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

January 30th, 2008

Umpires Union: MLB Investigators Are Like Secret Police

Like a secret police force, except they’re just asking questions and everybody knows about them, but other than that stuff it’s just like the Gestapo. There has never been a greater injustice than this.
Lamell McMorris, a spokesman for the World Umpires Association, told ESPN.com that baseball investigators have gone into neighborhood homes in recent weeks […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

January 30th, 2008

McNamee: Pettitte to Snitch, and Snitch Good

Clemens: Remember what Carmelo Anthony says about snitching?
Don’t.
Andy Pettitte, who admitted to using HGH immediately after he as accused of doing so, is likely to testify to that effect before Congress. This is probably going to screw Roger Clemens, but whatever, Clemens has his own foolproof statistical defense which cannot be refuted in any way!
“Based […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

January 29th, 2008

Minnesota Twins Will Just Take Whatever You Have On You For Johan Santana

[The Mets, Yankees, Red Sox are seated in a meeting room. The Twins are standing at the front. The Twins speak.]
What we have here is the the best pitcher in baseball, my friends. And we’re willing to part ways with him. But it’s going to take some might fine baseball players, we’re not going to […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

January 29th, 2008

Lists! Sweet Glorious Lists!

Don’t be listless; take my punny advice and check out the rest of b5media’s recent listy goodness.
David Kindervater of Every Morning Quarterback is in Phoenix for Super Bowl Media Day, while the rest of us are busy writing about some of the Top 10 things in sports.

This week in the b5media Sports Channel round-up, we […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

January 29th, 2008

The Logical Fallacies of Roger Clemens’ Lawyer

Roger Clemens’ lawyer has released a report of his own — take that Mitchell! — that proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that Roger Clemens couldn’t possibly have taken steroids. He did this using his baseball statistics. Because that makes sense.
Hendricks’ report, which includes 38 charts, in some ways resembles a salary arbitration case. […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

January 28th, 2008

Top Ten Sounds of Sports

Sometimes I am capable of being sincere when talking about sports, despite the evidence found on this site. This is one of those times. Sports affect all our senses. Sight, obviously, is our sense most often associated with sports fandom, but sound, touch, taste and even smell are part of our sports experience. Sometimes we […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 4 comments

January 28th, 2008

Super Bowl Shocker: Tom Brady Will Play In Super Bowl

Ah yes, the pre Super Bowl inanity has begun. The big news today, Tom Brady will be playing in the Super Bowl. What a scoop. Let’s repeat this news, in case anyone missed it while because someone near them was gasping in shock. Tom Brady is hurt, but will be ready to go. He will […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

January 28th, 2008

Tiger Woods Collapses On Back Nine, Only Wins By Eight Strokes

Sure, he’s smiling…on the outside.
I didn’t actually see much of the Buick Invitational; January just seems too early to be watching golf. (Plus, Tiger had such an insurmountable lead going into the final day, there would be even less drama than usual.) But before heading out to see There Will Be Blood — which was […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

January 27th, 2008

Not Rafael Nadal or Roger Federer Wins Australian Open

For the first time since 2005, someone who doesn’t wear capri pants and isn’t a robot sent from the future to dominate tennis won a major open. That non-robot normal-pants-wearer is 20-year-old Serbian Novak Djokovic. Djokovic dropped the first set to unseeded Frenchman Jo-Wilfried Tsonga — his first set lost in the entire open — […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 1 comment

January 26th, 2008

Bill Belichick Won’t Discuss Absentee Brady

Tom Brady’s been gone, but Belichick’s remained mum. Other things Belichick won’t discuss:
- The ending of Cloverfield (Spoiler Alert!)
- Daddy issues
- Pride & Prejudice; no matter what the book club says, he won’t
- Discuses
- What exactly it is we’re doing here
- The Mitchell Report
- The elephant in the room
- The presence of Matt Cassell
- Ron […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

January 26th, 2008

Tennis Returns to Normalcy

When Roger Federer was eliminated in the semis of the Australian Open, I had no idea how to respond. My faith in men’s tennis — yay, all that I knew existed — was shaken. But then Maria Sharapova won the women’s half of the open, and I remembered she was attractive. I can really only […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 2 comments

January 23rd, 2008

Wes Welker Would Appreciate It If You Drank Some Milk

Yes…milk…have some.
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By Albert Bianchi -- 1 comment

January 23rd, 2008

LeBron James Likes Making Money

As I come dangerously close to coughing up a lung — which is proof that God hates it when I’m happy: the Giants win has been coupled with the onset of some evil bug that I cannot shake – I’ve been able to avoid the Super Bowl hype and pay attention to the real, hard-hitting sports […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

January 21st, 2008

Our Last Hope

Oh crap.
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By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

January 20th, 2008

Your Preview of Two Weeks of Interminable Hype

 
With two weeks of nothing better to do, we will have two weeks of incessant talk about the upcoming Super Bowl, no matter the participants. But since there’s only four teams remaining, I have a pretty good idea what the story lines will likely be for the next fortnight. This way you can pretty much ignore […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

January 19th, 2008

NFL Network, Significantly Less Evil Than Comcast

Now, I think we all agree that the pissing match between cable companies (Comcast among others) and league-specific cable channels (NFL Network, Big Ten Network) is pretty inconvenient. (Although, thankfully, it made me miss the Appalachian State game.) None of it is really permanently damaging. This is essentially business negotiations, and both parties are responsible […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

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