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Dejuiced! Sports News with No Boundaries

Archive for March 2007

March 26th, 2007

From the Irony Division of Major League Baseball

There’s all sorts of bad ideas involved with this one, I’ll try to get through them. Major League Baseball, in their infinite wisdom, felt that civil rights would not be complete without their own personal tribute, a spring training exhibition called “The Civil Rights Game.” (T-Shirts still available!) They are playing the exhibition in AutoZone […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

March 23rd, 2007

News that I was Sure Happened Two Years Ago

Marshall Faulk to announce retirement.
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By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

March 23rd, 2007

Hey, Who Wants to Make David Wright Sound Like a Pussy?

Nothing says more about a baseball player than his at-bat music. Well, maybe OPS, but after that, it’s totally at-bat music. That’s why it’s extremely risky for David Wright to put his at-bat music in the hands of us fickle internet denizens. It’s not like we vote disingenuously for more hilarious results. That has never […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

March 23rd, 2007

Cricket Horrors Continue: Woolmer was Strangled

Pakistani cricket coach Bob Woolmer’s death went from a horrific example of the effects of stress, to a suspicious coincidence and possible suicide, to a strangulation.
“Because Bob was a large man, it would have taken some significant force to subdue him, but of course at this stage we do not know how many people were […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

March 22nd, 2007

Bundchen Claims not to be Carrying Brady Seed

I, of course, don’t believe her. All known contraceptives can’t stop the power of Brady’s little swimmers.
“It’s crazy how people can make up these stories,” the Brazilian bombshell said on TVE’s “Corazon de Primavera.” “I’m not pregnant and I’m not planning to be pregnant anytime soon. I have so many contracts to do, so many […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 1 comment

March 22nd, 2007

Josh McRoberts, Meet Shavlik Randolph

Josh McRoberts is declaring himself eligible for the draft. He must mean that he finally signed up for Selective Services, because I am declaring him incapable of playing in the NBA.
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By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

March 22nd, 2007

What the Hell is Going on in Jamaica?

The Cricket World Cup is starting to terrify me. As the investigation of the “suspicious” death of Bob Woolmer continues, another prominent cricket personality died yesterday. Bob Kerr was found dead in his hotel room after an apparent heart attack. At this point, I’m not really believing anything about anyone dying of heart attacks in […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

March 22nd, 2007

Only in the Vatican!

Don King got a front row seat at the Pope’s general audience yesterday and was dangerously close to getting a private meeting with his Holiness. If only they had walked into a bar, we’d have a joke on our hands. Ok, we actually have many jokes on our hands:
King was to inquire where Pope Benedict […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

March 21st, 2007

This Will Probably Piss Off Lance Briggs To No End

Adam Archuleta, you remember him right? He was the white safety for the Rams. No, not the one who became the surprisingly good wide receiver for the Lions. The one who became a wildly overpaid backup safety for the Redskins. Yeah, him. Well, he’s reunited with Lovie Smith, a coach who actually uses a defense […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

March 21st, 2007

Cricket Now Officially Terrifying

Before I gave them the benefit of the doubt. Sure, cricket fans are crazy, but not so crazy to, you know, poison a coach. Just crazy enough to watch cricket. They’re not soccer fans. I mean, right? But now, oh shit.
Jamaican officials are calling the death “suspicious,” but refuse to comment whether it was suspiciously […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

March 19th, 2007

The Odd Hypocrisy of the Iditarod

You can push them out of a plane, you can march them off a cliff, you can send them off to die on some God-forsaken rock, but for some reason you can’t slap them.
- Grandpa Simpson from “Bart the General”

Grandpa Simpson was talking about Bart’s legion of 10-year-old “soldiers,” but apparently the same rule applies […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

March 19th, 2007

Only The Celtics Could Get in Trouble for Recruiting

Someone should tell Danny Ainge that — really — you don’t have to convince anyone to sign with a pro team when they’re going to be a rookie. You just draft them. You draft them, and they sign with you. That’s pretty much how it works. No one pulls an Eli Manning in the NBA. […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

March 19th, 2007

The Weird, Sad World Of Cricket

Because the NCAA tournament had been unusually boring this weekend, I was looking around the internet for something interesting to write about. Then this happy little nugget came across my desk(top.) On St. Patrick’s Day, the Irish National team upset the heavily favored Pakistan team in the Cricket World Cup. Well, that’s a neat little […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 2 comments

March 17th, 2007

EPL Saturday

Bolton 1 v. Manchester United 4:  ManU continued its strong run through the Premiership as Cristiano Ronaldo set up two goals.  Park Ji-Sung and Wayne Rooney both scored twice to keep ManU atop the table.
Sheffield United 0 v. Chelsea 3:  Chelsea’s big summer signings had a big day against relegation bound Sheffield.  Shevchenko scored one […]

By The Fan's Attic -- 0 comments

March 17th, 2007

The Return of Dark Heart

YaySports! may be wondering Who Shot Mamba? But it is clear that last night Kobe Bryant was the one doing the shooting against the Portland Trailblazers.  Bryant put in 65 in the overtime victory scoring over half of the Lakers 116 points.  It was Bryant’s second highest scoring game behind his 81-point effort last season. 
It […]

By The Fan's Attic -- 0 comments

March 17th, 2007

The Late Games

Four games last night finished up the first round of the NCAA Tourney and set the matchups for the second round. 
#1 Florida 112 - #16 Jackson St. 69:  The Gators started off slowly only leading by 6 at halftime but the defending champs scored 61 71 points in the second half to put away Jackson State easily.
#4 […]

By The Fan's Attic -- 0 comments

March 17th, 2007

The Hangover: Return of the Mamba

NBA: Portland 111 - LA Lakers 116 (OT) - Kobe Bryant dropped 65 on the Blazers to halt LA’s seven-game losing skid. 
NBA: Detroit 105 - Phoenix 83 - It was inevitable after winning the biggest game of the year, the Suns laid an egg against the Pistons.
NHL: Washington Capitals 5 - Toronto Mapleleafs 1 - […]

By The Fan's Attic -- 0 comments

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