January 31st, 2007
Hey, Peyton’s Father
Jimmy Johnson, watch out for those loose seals on your next fishing trip.
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Jimmy Johnson, watch out for those loose seals on your next fishing trip.
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Sorry, Paris.
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He just looks so sad. Could someone get him some Jack to cheer him up? And did they really need the tarp behind ol’ Neckbeard? I know he’s prone to spillage, but that just seems unnecessary.
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This drastically affects the order of things-that-happen-in-soccer-games. Headbutting Materazzi has moved up one spot. The new order, from most frequently occurring to least: diving, racism, drinking, rioting, headbutting Materazzi, streaking, scoring goals, Americans scoring goals, America winning, and lastly Americans being entertained.
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Sosa signs minor-league deal with Rangers. Eventually everyone’s going to forget about that steroid thing, right? Right?
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China and the New York Yankees, together at last.
And if you think this isn’t just the Yankees getting a head-start on untapped billions of potential Chinese ballplayers, well, you haven’t been paying attention.
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Louisville, May 2016 - For the fourth year in a row President Barbaro II will be the favorite in this years Kentucky Derby presented by McRosoft. He is currently listed as a 3:1 favorite. Thoroughbred purists still have qualms with the nature of the 2006 winner’s return to racing.
In early 2007, due to complications resulting […]
That’s exactly how Peyton Manning had to do it, wasn’t it? Peyton played fantastically, and was fantastically clutch. He did what no one thought he was capable of doing against his nemesis. (I think the term nemesis is a bit much, more of just the thorn in Peyton’s paw.) Those smug New Englanders really had […]
Dutch soccer team Feyenoord has been thrown out of the UEFA Cup competition for actions of its fans back in November. The Dutch fans started rioting, including throwing seats at police, at the end of a 3-0 thrashing by French squad AS Nancy.
You know, I might be mad too if my team lost to a […]
Minnesota Timberwolves forward Eddie Griffin may be released by the team following his league mandated five-game suspension for violating the NBA’s anti-drug policies. Oddly enough it was Griffin’s attempted ‘release’ that got him into his latest trouble. Allegedly, Griffin was drunk driving, watching a porno and masturbating when he crashed into another vehicle in June […]
Portland Trailblazers 101 - Phoenix Suns 106: 12 straight wins for the Suns as the Blazers continue its march towards the Greg Oden Sweepstakes.
Washington Wizards 114 - Orlando Magic 93: Antawn “My First Name Is Spelled Wrong” Jamison and Agent Zero led the Wiz over the Magic who lost its fourth straight.
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Presumably because they spent their entire team salary on a third of David Beckham, the LA Galaxy will be holding open tryouts. Potential players trying out will have to fork over $130, so if 1,923,077 people show up they got that whole contract payed off.
Also, excellent work by Reuters, as half of the article is […]
The last thing the NHL needs is an expose regarding them sabotaging the wishes of their few remaining fans. Seriously, the NHL is run by the Keystone Kops. All-Star games are jokes. I thought only Bud Selig thought otherwise, but apparently the NHL guys take it too seriously as well.
The man, always keeping us down. […]
Hey internet denizens, this weekend there’s some intriguing conference championship games. You may find yourself watching them with other people. People with whom you may interact. You may want to try to impress them with your knowledge of NFL goings-ons and/or your wit. These jokes probably won’t help you, but — hey — they could. […]
A judge ordered NY Giant defensive-end Michael Strahan to pay his ex-wife $15.3 million. The amount was in line with the prenuptial agreement Jean Strahan and Michael signed in 1999:
Under the agreement, Jean Strahan was entitled to 50 percent of their joint marital assets and 20 percent of his yearly income from each year […]
Watford 0 – Liverpool 3: After consecutive thrashings by Arsenal in the last week, Liverpool feasted upon the relegation dwellers Watford. Peter Crouch, he of The Robot goal scoring celebration, scored twice and Craig Bellamy, he of the assault charges, feasted on the slow Watford defense. Bellamy netted one and assisted one.
Chelsea 4 - Wigan […]
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