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Dejuiced! Sports News with No Boundaries

Archive for December 2006

December 22nd, 2006

Of Course

Ken Griffey Jr would be a walking punchline, if he weren’t too hurt to walk.
(Rimshot.)

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By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

December 22nd, 2006

The Millen Era Continues Its Downward Spiral From Mediocrity

There’s going to be a walkout at Ford Field. This is notable because, well, NFL tickets are real expensive. Theres only eight home games, too. Walk out on one and you only got seven left over. This is pretty impressive and disciplined hatred from the Detroit crowd. Millen has earned that type of hatred. He […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

December 22nd, 2006

This is the Sort of Thing that Makes My Need For the NFL Network Less than Urgent

Packers 9, Vikings 7
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By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

December 22nd, 2006

“The Internet Is Unbelievable Now”

Quoth Barry Melrose on the glory that is the Rory Fitzpatrick All-Star Voting shenanigans. The best part about this isn’t the power wielded by the few remaining hockey fanatics, its that this power move will ultimately strip them of it. Next year the NHL will probably get rid of fan voting. So, all you hockey […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 1 comment

December 20th, 2006

Wellington Mara’s Son Tackles Eagle Fan/Stockbroker, Expected to Miss 4-6 Weeks with Ankle Sprain

Here’s the background information. The late Giants Owner Wellington Mara’s son is stockbroker, he knows a stockbroker who is an Eagles fan, the Eagles beat the Giants, there was some light ribbing, and Mara snapped. This is pretty hilarious on its own, so I’m just going to present some of the highlights, unedited.
Another, unnamed broker […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

December 19th, 2006

Hey, You, The Guy On the Internet, You Could Be Watching Friday Night Lights Right Now

I was thinking going all Save-Our-Bluths on your ass about Friday Night Lights. I was going to talk about how Friday Night Lights can at times be the best show on television. (No, I’m not counting HBO, because as they say, it’s not TV.) Say something about how it is wonderfully written and acted. Then […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

December 19th, 2006

Why Aren’t You Watching Ninja Warrior?

Today’s theme is TV you should be watching (or are awesome if you are.)
This post centers around Ninja Warrior, a show on G4 — which is apparently unaware that there are no other previous “G” channels but genius enough to get the syndication rights to Arrested Development. Ninja Warrior is essentially a Japanese program about […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

December 19th, 2006

I Learned One Thing From Last Night’s MNF

It wasn’t anything about Peyton Manning and his immaculate performance or Chad Johnson’s close personal relationship with Merton Hanks. No, I learned that Ricky Proehl has the biggest ass in professional football. There rest of him looks fairly normal, if not a little stocky for a wideout, but Proehl has the backside of a lineman. […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

December 17th, 2006

EPL Sunday

Everton 2 - Chelsea 3: The Blues came back from a 2-1 deficit to snatch victory and three points from the Toffees.  Chelsea won it on a brilliant 40-yard blast from Didier Drogba and assisted by Shevchenko.
Man City 1 - Tottenham 2:  Joey Barton didn’t moon the crowd this time but he did score a […]

By The Fan's Attic -- 0 comments

December 17th, 2006

The Hangover: Title Fight In MSG

Denver 123 - NY Knicks 100: Normally a Knicks game wouldn’t warrant mention but last night was different.  At the end of the blowout loss, the Knickerbockers decided to show a little fight, literally, and Mardy Collins started it with a hard foul on J.R. Smith.  Eventually, all ten players on the court at that […]

By The Fan's Attic -- 0 comments

December 16th, 2006

EPL Saturday: Boot to the Head

Charlton 0 v. Liverpool 3:  After a disastrous start to the season on the road, Liverpool has won two consecutive away from Anfield.  Xabi Alonso netted an early penalty after Jermaine Pennant received a boot to the head.  A stubborn Charlton held on until the final ten when Pennant and Steven Gerrard scored to put […]

By The Fan's Attic -- 0 comments

December 16th, 2006

Quincy Carter, Heir to the Newton Cowboy Throne

Following in the big footsteps of former Cowboys Nate Newton and Michael Irvin, former Dallas QB Quincy Carter has been arrested for possession of marijuana.  Police were called to a woman’s home where Carter was “throwing things around” very early in the morning.  Fortunately, Carter probably didn’t hit anything based on his performances in the […]

By The Fan's Attic -- 0 comments

December 16th, 2006

The Hangover: Kobe!

Houston Rockets 101 – LA Lakers 112:  Kobe Bryant dropped 53 on Yao Ming and the Rockets to lead the Lakers back from 21 points down and a double overtime victory. 
Golden State 101 – Phoenix 105:  Boris (Diaw) certainly didn’t look like a Frankenstein with a triple double in the Suns 13th consecutive victory.
Philadelphia 76ers […]

By The Fan's Attic -- 0 comments

December 15th, 2006

Men, Prepare Your Legal Defenses!

Former Virginia Tech quarterback Marcus Vick is being sued for $6.3 million by a 17-year-old girl who claims Vick deceitfully professed his love to her so she would continue to have sex with him.
So — just to be clear — Mexico the Lesser is being sued not because he raped (statutorialy) a 15-year-old […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

December 15th, 2006

I’m At the Point Where I Don’t Even Remember That There’s Now Thursday Night NFL Games

Hey, NFL! When I can’t watch something on TV I lose interest. Did you know that? I’m of the generation with the shortest attention span known to mankind. I heard the Niners beat the Seahawks, but I’m not sure why or how, and I’m not sure I care. Either get games that I’ll be upset […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

December 14th, 2006

This Just In, Joel Zumaya Rocks Harder Than You Ever Imagined

The Rock gods approve! Joel Zumaya’s forearm inflammation wasn’t caused by his face-melting fastball, but by face-melting guitar solos on Guitar Hero! What, you haven’t heard of Guitar Hero? Get with the rocking times! Squeadily, deedily, whaaaa! Guitar Hero rocks so hard that your little conformist mind would explode into a thousand pieces if you […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

December 13th, 2006

I’m Sick of This Motherfucking Ace on a Motherfucking Plane

Welcome to a slow news day in our Sox/Yanks-centric world. Daisuke Matsuzaka is on a plane. A plane that is going to Boston. The same Boston in which the Red Sox played. Breaking News! Maybe today will pick up, sports-wise. There’s always a good chance that a Bengal could get arrested. (Crossing fingers.)
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By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

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