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Dejuiced! Sports News with No Boundaries

Archive for September 2006

September 30th, 2006

I Love the Smell of Desperation in the NFL

Vince Young will start for the Tennessee Titans on Sunday against the Dallas Cowboys.
The Titans said they chose Young over Matt Leinart or local favorite Jay Cutler in the draft because of his potential. Coach Jeff Fisher promised he wouldn’t start Young until the rookie was ready.
Let me get this straight, Vince Young, who scored […]

By The Fan's Attic -- 0 comments

September 30th, 2006

Pedro Will Have Plenty of Time with His Flowers

Earlier this week it was announced that Mets pitcher Pedro Martinez will miss the playoffs this year.  Today it was revealed that Pedro will have rotator cuff surgery and won’t pitch again until the middle of next season.  That means Pedro will have lots of time to play in his garden and talk to his […]

By The Fan's Attic -- 0 comments

September 30th, 2006

Thieves In Britain Are Perceptive

While 6′7″ Liverpool striker and ‘Robot’ dancing  Peter Crouch was scoring two goals (including this spectacular one to the left) during a Champions League victory over Turkish squad Galatasary, “yobs were ripping apart his home” in Britain it is reported.  For those of you, like me, that are unfamiliar with yobs check this out.  From the report:
They […]

By The Fan's Attic -- 0 comments

September 30th, 2006

EPL Saturday: Randy Moss to the Next Level

Everton 1 – Manchester City 1:  Andrew Johnson scored his sixth for Everton, but Man City pulled a rabbit out of the hat with an equalizer in the 4th minute of stoppage time.  The game, however, got a little cheeky when a Man City player, Joey Barton, is alleged to have pulled a “Randy Moss […]

By The Fan's Attic -- 0 comments

September 30th, 2006

The Hangover

Atlanta 4 – Houston 1:  And with this loss Houston is almost out of the playoff hunt and the offseason speculation about Roger Clemens’ return begins.
San Diego 1 – Arizona 3:  Keeping it interesting are the Padres, who are now tied with the Dodgers in the NL West.
Rutgers 22 – USF 20:  The Scarlet Knights […]

By The Fan's Attic -- 0 comments

September 28th, 2006

Watch Your Back, Bat Boys

You’ve sat too comfortable in your numberless jersey for too long now. The natural evolution of sports assistants is upon us! The future is now! Monkey ball boys are here, next monkey the bat boys and soon, monkey personal trainers — with adorable monkey syringes filled with monkey steroids. You can’t compete with that, awkard […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 1 comment

September 28th, 2006

WNBA Execs: “Get Me Man-Hands!”

She’s got man hands. She has the hands of a man. Which would apparently make her more athletic. According to a British study, women with longer ring fingers than index fingers (which is typical for men) had more sports accomplishments over the course of their lifetime than those with the “normal” ring-to-index ratio.

I’ve heard of […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

September 28th, 2006

The Hangover

Phillies 8, Nationals 7 (14 Innings) - Philadelphia pulled one out in extra innings, keeping them close in the wild card race so that they can tragically lose closer to the end of the season.
Astros 7, Pirates 6 (15 Innings) - The ‘Stros really needed this one, as the Cardinals actually won a game yesterday.
Padres […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

September 27th, 2006

Denny Green Returns From Day-Long Moment of Sanity

Kurt Warner is the starter again. Matt Leinart can return to biding his time.

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By Albert Bianchi -- 1 comment

September 27th, 2006

Hey, Everybody Look at Terrell Owens

C’mon TO. If this was a suicide attempt — and officially, it won’t be — it was the cry-for-help type instead of an actual failed suicide try. TO’s going to be fine, he’s getting the attention he craves. But attempted suicide, TO? That’s something more along the lines of Todd Pinkston. You’re better than that.
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By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

September 27th, 2006

The Hangover

Padres 7, Cardinals 5 - Well, as long as the Astros didn’t win, the Cardinals should be alright.
Astros 7, Pirates 4 - Oh, well, nevermind.
Tigers 4, Blue Jays 3 - No one wants to play the Yankees.
Yankees 5, Orioles 4 - Especially with their pitching juggernaut, Corey Lidle.
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By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

September 26th, 2006

So, Apparently the Arizona Cardinals Still Are Playing In a College Stadium

After years of being a laughingstock professional football team playing in an old college stadium, Arizona St.’s Sundevil Stadium, the Cardinals are now a laughingstock professional football team playing in a new stadium named after a college. The University of Phoenix has bought the naming rights to the previously unnamed Cardinals Stadium. This really is […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 1 comment

September 26th, 2006

Train Carrying Washington Nationals Derails

That would be a totally apt metaphor if the Nats were any good to begin with.

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By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

September 26th, 2006

Woody Hayes Would Have Never Put Up With This

John L. Smith, in an apparent attempt to deflect attention from his team’s annual tremendous collapse, has gone after Charlie Weis’ insinuation that an MSU player slapped him during a sideline scuffle. Weis stated in his post-game press conference that he was slapped at some point during the ruckus, but said it could have been […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

September 26th, 2006

The Only People In More Legal Trouble Than the Cincinatti Bengals

Politicians. Read all about their misdeeds and deeds (which will eventually turn into misdeeds) over at Dejuiced’s brother, Sirened. Keep an eye out for athletes-turned-politicians using sports metaphors way to often.
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By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

September 26th, 2006

The Hangover

Twins 8, Royals 1 - The Twins clinched the last AL playoff spot, ousting the White Sox. Now, if they were outing the White Sox, Ozzie Guillen would be even more upset.
Indians 14, White Sox 1 - Chicago, you’re ousted. Didn’t you read the above?
Yankees 16, Devil Rays 1 - That’s an awful lot of […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

September 25th, 2006

Jay Gibbons, the Creative Brett Myers

Jay Gibbons, Baltimore Oriole DH, hit his wife…amazingly with a foul ball. Really. Bretty Myers could learn a lot from Gibbons. This is a much less blatant form of spousal abuse. Gibbons is able to play the whole thing off as an accident, which is much more difficult if he say, punched her in the […]

By Albert Bianchi -- 0 comments

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